Rian Kassidy: Note 11

1.
I miss you guys. A lot.

2.
Sometimes...
I secretly think Ezra doesn't want me as his girlfriend.
That he'd let go off my hands if he sees anyone he recognises.
(again)
That he'd be fucked up if I start declaring my love on facebook.
I mean... we're different.
The way he and the ex-missus was...
and the way we are right now.
They're different.
Granted no two relationships can be identical...
but... you know...
why can they be so open and not us?
Is it because of the way we started?
Or is it because he doesn't really want me?
A a a paranoid!!

3.
I don't trust Ezra.
The way we started and all.
I'm afraid it'd happen to me.
Tapi... I'm learning to trust bit by bit.

4.
A a a I know I'm such a psycho.
Saying I don't trust him at one mmoment...
and declaring my love the next...
But he makes me so crazy!!
(I don't know if that's good or bad ><)
I really, really, really hope though that this time, it'd go well.
I want this to be the last one.
Ezra and I.

5.
I really miss you guys.
I really, really do.

Rian Kassidy: Note 10

Primadona.

Awak okay?

Love,
Rian Kassidy

Dear kwn baik 15

sgt setuju dgn Rian Kassidy! n primadona , sorry sgt x dpt hang out ngan kalian berdua! omg! kalau x dh jumpa kot kekasih pujaan hati primadona. deyh.

btw, saya x pernah jumpa juge kekasih pujaan hati Rian Kassidy. tp pernah tgk gambar lh kn. hehhe.

sgt rinduuu korang! x sabar nk jumpa.

Olalla T Sanz

Rian Kassidy: Note 9

Terasa macam nak buat petition untuk gambar boyfriend Primadona diletakkan di sini.
Password protected of course so that orang lain tak boleh tengok.
Setujukah?
=D

Love,
Rian Kassidy

Rian Kassidy: Letter 9

Rakan-rakan,

Saya sangat pemalas. Saya tak tahu kenapa. Serious hell pemalas nak mampus dan saya tak suka. But at the same time... tak boleh memaksa diri membuat kerja. Cam tiada determination ><

Tapi sebenarnya nak buat kerja. I really do! But saya tak mahu buat berseorangan. Saya mahu spend masa di library... dan saya tahu saya boleh buat berseorangan. Tapi... seperti yang saya kata. Saya tak mahu buat semua itu berseorangan. But at the same time, seriously tak tahu nak ajak siapa. Alasan kah mungkin?

Agh!! Tak faham kenapa pemalas sangat diri ini.

Sloth is one of the seven deadly sins!
Berubah!!
You have to change!!!

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s: Macam mana nak buat si Pemalas ni tak begitu malas? Duduk di kampus, asyik keluar ngan Ezra. Duduk di rumah, tgk TV pulak. Nak pergi library, lepas tu cam terasa malas pulak nak berjalan kaki ke kawasan tempat parking pelajar yang sumpah lah jauh. Sifat malas ni memanglah perlu dibuang jauh-jauh. Tak tipu!!

Tapi persoalannya, kenapa semasa bekerja sewaktu cuti semester hari tu saya rajin? Ke saya dah hilang minat belajar o.O?

Dear kwn baik 14

dear besties,
rinduu korang sgt2!

n yeah jom main kejar2 ngan itik n angsa lg. n this time make sure semua ade. br meriah gitu.
btw korang, next week saya cuti, yeah! tp kalian semua bagaimana? perlu rase nye berjumpa bercerita2 pnjg, bergelak ketawa n bertangkap gambar yg byk.

new update? i try 2 get over Choco, still trying. n currently there's new guys in d picture. yes new guyS as in more than 1. haha.well just as a fren, but u nvr know right. n ketamsenget, i told u about this b4. so better story when we meet up!

btw, buat Rian Kassidy, tahniah atas kejayaan Chelsea!

ok thats it from me. miss u guys so much!

love always,

Olalla T Sanz

7

salam n greetings to the beloved.

1. i am still mourning over the death of yasmin ahmad.
2. it feels soooooooooooooo good to be in love.
3. update your stories here, please.
4. i cant wait to go back home.
5. please chase the ducks and angsa with me again.

primadonna razorblade.

Rian Kassidy: Note 8

Akan dibawa berjumpa.
Bila2 kami berdua free.
InsyaAllah.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s: Rindu hell!!

Dear kwn baik 13

sudah lama sgt x jumpa kalian semua! sgt rinduu! (owh ade jumpa ketamsenget,tp rinduu juge).

oh Roosa Roo,saya pun x pernah jumpa Ezra.tgk gambar je pernah :)

well currently no update available ;-)

Olalla T Sanz

5:01 pm

SAYA TAK PERNAH TENGOK EZRA, DAN SAYA TENSION.

Sekina (correction : sekian),
terima kasih.

xoxo,
Roosa Roo.

Rian Kassidy: Letter 8

Dear friends;

School is starting...and I'm not ecstatic.
Not that I hate school.
I love it really.
Can't wait to see what I'll get to learn this time around.

Tapiii...

It feels too much like my fairy tale's ending.
Sumpah terasa macam saya Cinderella and the clock just struck 12.
I dunno why tapi terasa macam hard times ahead.

Damn.

I've been lulled into security so much so that I forgot all about Ezra's Cheri.
And that Josh is transferring here.

Fck.

A a a tak sukaaa~

Am I overanalysing things?
I know that we both don't really have anything going on with the other parties...
Tapi...ntah.
Serious rasa macam bakal menghadapi masa-masa susah.
Tatau kenapa.

A a a~

Rasa nak nangis ><"

Ezra met Kyuri and all btw malam semalam.

Jup.
Correction.
They met him.
I love it that my friends went to the car to meet him =D
And that Ezra was willing to drive all the way...
Thank you sayaang...
A untuk effort bagi Encik Ezra!!

So anyway...
Asked my dear brother Encik Prince on his opinion about us.
And he said that he thinks Ezra's okay.
And dia bagi A untuk effort bagi Encik Ezra!! Haha.
Lulus cemerlang ye Encik Ezra semalam? Tahniah.
And he also said that the vibe between us sangat apparent.
So much so that passers by would know there's something going on between us.

Hmm.
Kalau semalam yang tak seberapa tu pun sangat apparent...

...
...
...

Damn.
Can we really get through this coming semester going incognito?

But...
I don't wanna go incognito...
Penaaat *pouts*
I just want us...

Sigh.

Apa-apa je lah.
Saya akan expect the worst...
While hoping all along that saya telah overanalyse things.
Yeah~

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s: sayang rakan-rakan =)

dear besties!~

rakan2 yg budiman.

saya syg ryndu pada kamu semua!

*peluk kuat2 xmo lepas*

=P

friends,
why is this ridiculous highschool drama never ends?
we're in university for god sake!
stupid people who stupidly never ever want to grow up.
stupid i tell u.

haih.

i sooo wanna meet u guys up!
i so badly want to trash dis stupid people who trashed me up!
hahaha kejam.


hugs,
ketamsenget

Dear kwn baik 12

dear besties,

OMG!Roosa Roo,im officially jealous with you! btw,kitaorg x jd keluar.sgt sedih.

btw korang,im might be going 2 Ipoh 4 d weekends.so sgt harap dpt jumpa n lepak ngan korang this week.weekdays argh tapi.wednesday/thursday/friday.miss u guys so much.perlu jumpa utk update2.

n ketamsenget,kamu di mane yee?msh di melaka ke?

rinduu sgt!

Olalla T Sanz

its 1:20 pm

Bestfriends,

Smlm dah bawah Baby pegi sunat. Haaa, alhamdulillah everything went well. Dia pun takde nangis2. Ntah doctor said she used new method, budak tak rasa sakit.

Last weekend jadi ke keluar?

Tatau nak bicara apa la..

Oh btw, akhirnya saya berjaya beli Magnum from Uncle Paddle Pop tu. Dia dengar jugak saya jerit. Sungguh berbaloi :D

Cinta semuaaa

xxxx,
Roo.

Dear kwn baik 11

Dear all,
Thanks 4 d advice Primadonna Razorblade.I mean all of you help me a lot.i know if i want 2 know how he feels i need to ASK him.but it really difficult n im scared.what if what happen between me n Star happen again if I confess 2 Choco?fuhh.ok lets put it this way,he gonna seat 4 exam next week so Im not going 2 confess 4 now.thanks all of u!

owh Rian Kassidy n all,Mr E some1 all of u know.haha.n not E Entertainment yee cik Rian.hehe.well Mr E ajar mcm mane nk ngorat Choco.haha.sgt kelakar.(well no wonder semua ex gf Mr E hebat2~seriously!haha.im impressed.).n dia ckp if x ckp kuat ngorat Choco agak bahaya tuk confess.haha.n in d end d same result mcm korang juge dia suruh CONFESS.ok!

Oh..Primadonna Razorblade i want chocolate cheese cake juge!omg.lama gler x mkn cheese cake.nak nak.hehe.

n who is d 2 guy Primadonna Razorblade??perlu jumpa semua org!! update2!

owh no! Roosa Roo, asal Torres reminds u of Star.sgt lain2.well he reminds me of Choco.haha.yee mmg pakcik ice cream tu.lps ni mmg kena guna mic.

owh Roosa Roo,jom konvoi gi crash rumah Primadonna Razorblade.haha.sebok jer.

Rian,free kn diri anda!!hehe.

Ketamsenget,terasa mcm nk main buai pulak.n then teringat kamu.hehe.

syg2 semua.sgt rinduu! please jom hang out this week!

Olalla T Sanz

Rian Kassidy: Letter 7

Kepada rakan-rakan;

Sorry I'm always MIA at present.
But the firm is organising a national event this 10-11 July.
So nga busy hell ><

Anyways...
might have to work Sunday but I'll try.
Maybe Saturday petang after my foot checkup?

Again;
tak boleh nak janji ><"

Kepada Primadona Razorblade;

Memang perlu.
Tapi... biar lah saya mengaku awal-awal
yang time lunch saya memang selalunya busy.
Nak keluar malam pulak... awak susah.
And saya tak rasa saya larat nak drive ke rumah awak.
Unless Ezra is willing to meneman?

See first.

And oh.
InsyaAllah grounded lagi.
Am there for the exposure.
You know how I am.

The picnic xjadi btw.
Had work and dia pulak p camping.
So yeah.

Kepada Olalla,

Saya agree ngan Primadona.
Nuff said.

Jup.
Mr. E? E who?
E! entertainment?
Ah. Dah ketinggalan rupanya saya.

Update!

N oh!
what advice?

Kepada ketamsenget;

Again;
agree ngan Primadona.

Just chill.
Lepak2 dulu and get to know him.
Like I said...
If you do find him great.
And that you do like him in that way...
berapa tahun je lagi kan nak tunggu?

=P

Kepada Roo;

RINDU!!
Hari tu terasa nak shopping baju kanak-kanak lagi.
Haha.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s: Cinta semua!!

its 8:58 pm

Just dodoi-ng my baby. Feeew, what a tiring day. The weather is also killing me. Panas, korang tak panas ke?

Primadona,
If u emosi, I'll be emosi too. Dont be, ok kakak :)
U sure u want to tell him that way? I'll follow u behind. Ikut saja. If u think that's the best thing to do, then do it. Tell him nicely.
U want to bake me a cheese cake? Waaaa.... have to tell mak bout this, nanti nak pegi sana (eh, dont get me wrong, bukan nak pegi sana because of cheesecake, but mmg reaaaaally nak pegi).

Olalla,
Haha, tu lah sebabnye. Eh the same pembonceng kan? He's old already kan. But still loyal with paddle pop :D One day I'll try to put on the mic so that he can hear hehe. *Magnum dlm otak, nak makaaaan*. Torres? Hahaa he reminds me of STAR. Tak abih2 dgn Torres.

Ahh..missing u guys so damn much.
Hiuhhh.

I <3 my Primadona, Olalla, Ketamsenget & Rian.


xoxo,
Roosa Roo.

6

hello, salam. greetings.

******
Rian,
LUNCH is needed. we both need to talk. breakfast pon jadi la. i hope everything, workloads at the firm are fine. (tho from your FB, it isnt) Remember to stay grounded, and know your limits, k. im just a friend, all i can say is that all i could say.. :)

and Rian, how was the date or picnic with Josh? it went well or not? or what?
mcm polis la saya.

_________

Olla,
Ive had this great talk with a person that should not be named here at Shah Alam court. he said something wise, which was quoted in the Bible (unsure which part) and also is widely used, something like this la.."i say unto you, ask, and it shall be given you, seek, and you shall find, knock, and it shall be opened unto you".

i mean, put aside the fact that it came from the Bible, but the thing is that, to know an answer, you have to ask.

yes, i know that previously i told you not to ask or tell, but by all means, if you really want to know, ASK him. its hard, but sometimes its better to know the truth rather than you stick and stuck to one ground without any momentum, or labels. waiting and will not make things go any better, innit? but bear in mind, dont do it in such a rush. (tetibe lagu such a rush dr coldplay berkumandang dalam otak saya)

btw, what was the advice?

__________

*ok, i think i sounded A BIT emotional. *

Ketamsenget,
babe, i say go for it, lepak and all that je la.. macam usual stuff you do to any other person.
get real babe, i mean, " it's hard for me to even like somebody but when i do, it's towards all the wrong people." who said that there were all the wrong people? nobody is wrong when it comes to fall in love, ok, not fall in love, but more to crush/like (from the fact of your case).

get to know him. might be that he is gay (haha, rude joke i know,sory) or might be that he is just like you, believing that hes been with the wrong person. plus, there isnt any harm can be done to get to know him, right? macam kenal2 biasa je.

______

and to Roosa,
come la to my house. i'll bake chocolate cheese cake for you, n you can have a take-a-way! there is one thing that i should say to you, Roo, im soo proud that i have a friend who knows what she wants. aaa, sgt complicated to write it here, but as for now, to make it simple, you seem to know your priority, what comes first, yada-yaada-yada... and you have the guts to kawin.

kiss the kiddo on my behalf,and i would like to apologise on my failure to attend your wedding and to spend more time with you when i know that you need me to be there.

_________________

aaaaaaaaaaaa.ter emosi sedikit sekarang.

and ive decided to say this to him.
" im not interested on us-making, and i dont like you anymore, for now"

bold and straight to the fact, innit? and i have a confession to make, there are 2 other guys.
yes, 2 other guys. and blame me for being a _________. but the best part is that, im having fun.

Primadonna Razorblade

Dear kwn baik 10

Roosa Roo,
same same.tgk gak spain vs iraq.bf ku torres main.sgt cair tgk dia.teringat choco kjb.ok dh.chop bukan ke zidan nama player egypt?hehe.owh btw biase r tu tgk kehandsomeman player bukan d game.hahaha.eyh ade ke word mcm tu.kehandsomeman.pelik.haha.n yeah busuk gler paddle pop tu.pakai sunglasses.tu yg x nmpk org pgl.kuat gler kot pgl 'ice cream2'.hehe.wah nk tgk si baby kecil berjoget2.hehe.mesti comel.

rakan2 disayangi,
smlm chat dgn Mr E.talked about Choco.how can I do 2 mengorat Choco.sgt kelakar.but he gave me good advice.hurt but d truth i guess.hehe.

owh ya jom keluar!hang out.sgt rindu.gossip2 n tangkap2 gambar.wah.best2.

p/s ; sgt rinduuu!

Olalla T Sanz

its 9:56 pm

Hie besties, kakak2, kawan baik, rakan baik, bantal, comforter, bolster and everything nice :D

My husband is watching Spain vs Iraq. Weeeeehee. Fabregas is playing. But, Iraqis pun cute jugak, damn. ( hahahahaha , nak kene pok kalau Encik Zidan husband saya tahu pasal ni )
Bukan nengok game, but the players.

Ketamsenget,
I know exactly how u feel.
Especially the part yg kalau dia ada or dtg, rasa cam *shwing shwing*.
Chill babe, sabaar2 dulu.
Get to know him first.
But, ye lah i agree.. salah tu. Rasa sgt salah.
(-.-)

Olalla,
Everyday i hear the paddle pop's song.
Best jugak, kalau lalu... joget2 dgn si baby kecik ni.
Dah lagu dia kuat, panggil2 pun tak dengar.
Itu hampeh namanya.

Ha.... I miss u guys la. Rasa nak bagi pelukan yg membara (mcm geli je dgr).

xoxo,
Roosa Roo

dear kwn baik 9

ketamsenget,
wow!
sgt sgt wow!
nnt jumpa storytelling lg k. =)

Rian Kassidy,
peguam mabuk?
haha.kelakar.
owh about Choco tu takut lh nk tanye.
so anggap je im his closest girl-friend.

Roosa,
owh fabregas.pg td tgk spain.bf ku hat trick.
hehe.fabregas pun score 1.
owh td ade cite lawak Roosa.
dgr ade ice cream paddle pop lalu
n smgt gler dr atas lari then panggil
uncle tu wat dunno jer jln.
bengang giler.
p/s : nak ice cream.

sygs,this week jd ke hang out ? (tlg r jadi).eyh ketamsenget blk ke weekend ni?

syg korang!

Olalla T Sanz

dear besties!~

kpd rakan2 yg disayangi,

he's 29 years old,
kinda good looking in his own way (die mata kuyu ok!) hahaha
n he's not my lecturer.
he didnt teach any of my subject.
but still it is ethically wrong!
sgt agreed ngn ryan btw.

haih.

i really hope it is just admiration la babe.
coz this is so totally wrong!
n im chilling n lepak-ing.
hopefully it's nothing.
huhuhu

sgt xbley bla.

=(


hugs!,
ketamsenget

Rian Kassidy: Note 7

Roo,

Oh.
Memang orang mabuk kelakar.
Sumpa tak tipu.
Hiburan I tell you.
Dia mabuk tak gado2 sume.
Just jadi bodo2 sket.
Ngarut2 bila cakap sume.
Patu ngada2 sket.
Nak itu, ini.
Cam budak2 pun ade gak.
So senang je layan.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s:
Orang yang memilih untuk membodohkan diri sendiri,
menjadi ultimate hiburan orang lain,
dengan mengambil dope dan meminum arak
adalah, kesimpulannya, bodoh.

Sekian, terima kasih.

Hello besties (^.^)

Olalla -
nice photos. hahaha.
sebenarnya saya sgt menyukai Fabregas tapi just suka2 laaah.
Persie pun comel jugak, tapi....Primadona dah menggilai dia (haha).

Rian -
drunken lawyers.
how did u manage to melayan org yg sedang drunk?
saya tak pernah berada dlm situation tu aa. hahaha.
funny pun ada jugak.

Ketamsenget -
wohooo. a crush on a lecturer?
ni hangat ni...
how old is he?
goodluking?
gaga.
nanti ada outing lg, must story ok.

Primadona -
my mum ada mention nk pergi rumah cik Primadona.
nak pegi!!



got to run, so many things need to be done.
haih, tapi tak kurus2.



xoxo,
Roosa Roo

Rian Kassidy: Letter 6

ketamsenget -

O-M-G
A huge crush.
On your lecturer.
Age please?

Well...
I see the problem.

(kut?)

It started off with this humongous respect.
Then you guys started talking casually...

(have you?)

and you find that you like what you see.
And hear.

Ethically incorrect of course on your part.
But hey.
Like you said.
There's only that unidentified pitter patter.
Admiration maybe?

(jawapan jaga hati ketamsenget.
I know that's what you wanna hear kan?)

What should you do?
Well...
In my opinion:
Let time pass by.
See what it is.

Admiration?

Respect?

Crush?

'Coz something like this is not something you can just decide on.
Get to know him first.
Lepak, lepak. Chill, chill.

If you really like him...
Alaah... berapa tahun sgt lagi nak tunggu kan?

=P

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s:
Lapa ><"
Lepas ni ada pulak post mortem.
En. Lawyer mahu tahu apa yg tlh dilakukannya.
Haha.

dear besties!

love letter to friends~

to rian kassidy,

wow! drunken lawyers.
cant say no more.
i pity u la dear.

to olalla,

hahaha gamba etoo sgt smart.
xpela second wife pn jadik la.
hehehe.
my stepdaughter sgt comel ok!
n yup2 sergio tu sebijik cm mke bdk besar tu.
hahaha

to primadona razorblade,

yup babe u do need a break.
lets go out dis weekend.
really need to meet u guys.

to roosa(sgt best ok nama)

welcome babe!
cmne ngn ur baby?
sehat? hehehe

ouh to u guys yg sgt sye sygi! help!

saye sgt bingung!
i have dis huge crush (humongous really) toward dis guy.
he's a nice guy, i mean really nice guy.
seems like a normal thing ryte even for me yg sgt xde perasaan kt sesiapa.
but here's the catch.
he's a lecturer at my faculty.
sgt stupid n explicit kan?
but he's not really a lecturer, he's dis jurutera pengajar (die dlu engineer but skng lecture).
he's super genius, sgt baik n sgt single.
he's once listed in aerospace program (yg astronaut thingy tu).
i dunno if it's a crush or just random respect but my heart kinda pitter-patter(ad ke word ni? hahaha) when he's around.
klau la kwn2 kte kat sini bace mesty tergelak besar dorng sbb dorg kcau kte ngn lecturer tu.(dorg xtau pasal dis crush thing.)
hahahah cm siot je.
haih.
so wut should i do?
it's hard for me to even like somebody but when i do, it's towards all the wrong people.
pelik kan?


sincerely,
ketamsenget~

Rian Kassidy: Note 6

Buat;

1.
Primadona Razorblade -

Went out with one of the lawyers,
a chamberee,
and a fellow attachment student last Friday night.
Went to Olive
and hung out with the lawyer's previous firm mates.

The lawyer got drunk -
sangat penat layan -_-"

Nak ciggies lah...

Nak burger lah...

Nak kencing lah...

Nak makan lah.

Nak ajak berdebate lah.

Last-last,
330 am baru balik rumah -_-"

2.
Olalla -

Lenkali nak kasi gamba centu kasi photoshopped terus.
Letak gamba die ngan wife die watpe -_-"

And oh.
Of course it means something.
Just what the thing is, is a question.
Does that mean you're his best girlfriend?
Like...
you're one of the boys?
Or does that mean that you're special?

One way to find out:
ask.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s:
Sorry it's a short one again.
But masalahnya tade story. Haha.

Dear kwn baik 8

reason 4 every photo :-
1)ballack 4 Rian Kassidy - sbb ade tin coca cola kosong dgn gambar ballack kat ur room.well obviously lh suka ballack kn. err.
2)van persie 4 Primadona Razorblade - sbb obviously u like him.
3)eto'o 4 ketamsenget - coz eto'o husband ketamsenget ;-) (kira wife no 2 r kan)hehe.

owh jom jom.chop x blh lh lagoon.sdg dtg bulan.huhu.

u know what primadona razorblade, ur situation mmg complicated.sorry 2 say.just take a break like Roosa said.jgn fikir sgt.

btw,adakah memberi apa2 makna bile Choco ltk me in his top 8 in myspace,d other 7 was his guy fren.ok mungkin tk.mungkin dia dh x de org nk ltk so he puts me.hmm.somehow mcm terharu + suka sgt.hehe.well dulu after matrix he does put me in his top 6 in friendster.tp skrg x de lah kn.hmm.argh asal lh perasan sgt Olalla!!!!

Somehow mengharap juga ade makna yg berbunga2.hmm.

Olalla T Sanz

5

ahh, why random pictures eh, Olalla T Sanz?
sangat pelik!
jom jumpa! tapi saya busy time weekdays la..
weekend ni jom la, SUNWAY LAGOON.

Rian, kenapa Lawyer mabuk tuh? im soo blank.

saya sangat pening dengan keadaan diri saya sekarang.

Primadona Razorblade

Dear kwn baik 7 - I'm Back!

rkn2 tercinta, I'M BACK!!

ready 2 hang out ngan korang,gelak2 smp nangis,tangkap2 gambar n menggilakan diri.err.hehe.cayang korang.

I was bored,and this what happen

4 u Rian Kassidy

4 u Primadona Razorblade

4 u ketamsenget

Roosa syg, i dunno who do u like but i still love u.muahxx muahxx.

yee rkn2 saya mmg x de keje.
p/s : ni sergio aguero yg chelsea nk beli.muka dia sebijik mcm si 'bdk bsr' tu kan ketamsenget.sebijik gler!omg!

ok dah cukup.syg korang!

Olalla T Sanz

Rian Kassidy: Note 5

Rakan-rakan tercinta;

Di tempat kerja ni.
Tapi tak pe kut sekali sekala slack off?
Penat lah.
Rasa macam nak demam pun ade.
Da la semalam tido kul 530 pagi.

Dem.

So anyways.

Terima kasih kerana ucapan tahniah
tentang peluang pekerjaan.

Perkara2 yang ingin disampaikan:
1.
Akan make time;
InsyaAllah next weekend boleh.

2.
Primadona Razorblade.
Anytime babe.
Lunch next Monday?

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s: Lawyer mabuk yang gatal.
Sangat penat dilayan -_-"

4

hello. thanks korang. i dont know la.. mmg betul Roosa ckp..saya agak streesseedd memikirkan pasal benda ni..

baru tadi he YM-ed me, tanya kenapa diam, n kalau ada marah, dia mintak sorry.

yet, i didnt reply. KENAPA MACAM NI, AWAK?

am i like soo freaking lazy tahap gaban?
or what?

Rian, saya mahu jumpa awak minggu depan, untuk makan tengahari. Cakap dengan awak sangat perlu.

oh, Rian said dia sabtu TAK free. haish.. jom la jumpa, peleiiissss. :(

Primadonna Razorblade

Headache lalat

Primadona,
u reaally need to take a break.
Tell him like that.
Awak mcm depress la kakak.
Yes, u need a big break.

Olalla,
have a safe journey. Selamat pulang kembali dear :)

Hmm, dont know what else to say for now.

My baby needs her ribena drink. Tata :)

Dear kwn baik 6

Ppl2,im going be back in ttdi tmr ok!rinduu sgt3.

To Rian Kassidy, congratulations! best nye dh ade keje,padahal lmbt lg still 3 years kn.owh sgt takut sbb 4 me ade lg 2 thn termsk practical.btw happy 4 u my dear!n 4 ur problem sgt setuja dgn Roosa,think 1st b4 u make ur decision k syg.support u no matter what k.

To Roosa,ye buat saat ni masih di ipoh.namun akan pulang esok ptg.wah rinduu korang sgt3! n minta ampun psl <3>.haha.cacat silap pulak.tp mcm best so mls nk edit blk.hehehe.

To Primadonna Razorblade, yee nnt explain yer dan apology anda accepted.sungguh tunggang terblk bahasa ku.rase nye situation kamu sgt complicated.i'll pass 2 Rian Kassidy 2 give u the necessary advice (sbb dia mcm lbh hebat dlm hal begitu).hehe.

To ketamsenget, sgt rinduu wahai besties! btw,asal busuk gile Kaka pegi madrid!!n my sis tgh mcm sedih sbb kemungkinan bsr Ronaldo akan ke Madrid juge.n dia kate rugi argh x dpt tgk nnt Ronaldo kat Msia (YES!!!padan muka.).btw sgt busuk liv bankrupt pulak.damn.

SUNWAY LAGOON ataupun TIMES SQUARE - jom jom!

owh ya hr tu chat dgn Choco.talking about football n all n how i REALLY REALLY hate Christiano Ronaldo.I was talking 2 him how i really want 2 tampar tampar muka ronaldo.sumpah menyampah giler.n then keluar cerita ms matrix.teringat dulu mase nmpk Choco kt matrix rase mcm nk tampar2 jer.hahahaha.n he was like 'NO!!!".n furthermore dia slalu pakai jersey Portugal (sebenarnye br tau jersey tu jersey portugal sbb ingat kn jersey manu tp dia kate dia x de pun jersey manu ms tu).n kdg2 awek dia pun pakai bj tu (bg pinjam2 pulak).haha sgt kelakar teringat blk then blh lak tersuka kt dia.bodo giler.asal entah.

ok syg2,setakat ini dulu,be back tmr!syg korang sgt3!

Olalla T Sanz

3

A PUBLIC APOLOGY TO;
ketamsenget and Olalla T Sanz.
Perlu di explain later k.

SAYA DA BOSAN DAH. I feel like take him and throw him into the dustbin.

Frankly, there are so many things that i have to tell to you; Ive been keeping these up to myself.I dont know where to start. I dont feel like writing. I hope that let just people listen to what Ive been thinking for the past few weeks...I dont know what to do.

Should i run away from him? He is like a virus and i hate it, it is contagious. I think I am fooling around. I pity him, but I think I made a bad step. I mean, he understood differently.. I am fooling around, but here is the deal, Im happy doing the 'fooling around' work. Yes, see how complicated it is?

WHERE TO CAMPAK?? I want to avoid him.But I dont want him to avoid me. See?? Stress gila kot pikir. Right now I dont know what to do next. I am total cluless. Can i just evaporate into the air for a while, infront of him? Nanti kelas sudah mula, macam mana ini?

in a different note: I dont know why, but i feel that I am way too far from God. The faith is there, and i hope it will ever be there, but the obligations are nowhere around now. Sometimes i feel lost.

about the trip: Rian Kassidy tak ada masa luak. Please buat, please.
Olalla T Sanz.; bila balik rumah?
Roosa, hello! Welcome to this cubicle.

Primadonna Razorblade

Roosa yg merusakan diri.

wahai Rian,
saya tau anda sangat stress,
takpe la.
take ur time.
fikir habis2...
baruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu buat keputusan ye sayang.
jangaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan ckp before berpikir, lebih susah nanti :S


aiyo.
saya tau,
ruangan ni mesti ada ckp pasal makan.
ye la, kami suka makan.
jom makan.
rasa cam nak mkn beef lasagna. ye, seperti mau makan.


o me god,
bosan gile.
help me.
nak masak,
tapi takde bende dlm freezer.
kesian kan.


SUNWAY LAGOON / TIMES SQUARE...
jadikah?
bile tu?

cik Olalla, bile nak pulang?
masih ada di ipoh?

cik Ketamsenget, hari ni sudah mandi?

cik Primadona Razorblade, ada masak lauk asam pedas ari ni?

cik Rian, anda pening2 lalat tak hari ni?

kirim salam power rangers kat mak korang ye. ckp, Roosa nak makan.



saya terlampau cinta korang.


oh btw cik Olalla, ini sign baru untuk love ke? <3>
mcm aiskrim la. hehehe.

chocolate chip cookie dough!


p/s: miss sangat, sampai jadi sengal. Sorry..

Rian Kassidy: Note 4

Untuk rakan-rakan,

Saya dioffer kerja dekat firm saya practical skang ni.
Lagi 3 tahun baru nak graduate and kerja dah menunggu.

Alhamdulillah.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s: Mahu berkongsi kegembiraan ^^,

Rian Kassidy: Note 3

a a a~
da jaaaaamm~~~

saya pun tau dia baik Roos.
baik GILE.

and saya pun tau kalau saya lepaskan dia saya bodoh.
bodoh GILE.

tapi...
*sigh*
ntah.

kiranye skang situation die camni la;

1. Hati kata EZRA, EZRA, EZRA!!

2. Otak kata, "taaak... Josh."

dan saya -
honestly -
leaning towards Ezra.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s:
maaf memeningkan semua.
Bak kata seorang kawan saya
*korang tak kenal*
hidup saya mmg drama.
and oh.
scene senyum tu.
the next day ke the day after.
bukan hari gado tu.
centu lah.

Dear kwn baik 5

So Rian kiranye Black jealous dgn Ezra ke? Ke'blur'an saya sgt critical rase nye hr nie.kalau Black jealous,mcm WOW.fuhh.
Wah drama gitu.
Dan kami terpaksa senyum lebar mase nampak each other across the road.
Terasa lama betul traffic nak clear time tuh.
Comel lah tu.hehe.ye eyee comel rase mcm sweet sweet gituu.

Primadona Razorblade has met him. Sape???!!!Him??

Wah mari2 ke ipoh.jln2 yg penting skali MAKAN2.yee byk mkn rase nye di sini.

Currently Choco's status kat FB is
what is the ph0ne number 0f happiness? need it ^^'
Jwpn nye sila cari sendiri.lama gler x chat ngan dia.whatever.

Nak wish my beloved sister HAPPY BIRTHDAY (mcm lh dia tau psl blog ni kan~hehe).sorry x de kat kl utk me'rock'kan bday anda.cewah perasan pule.

Sgt rinduu korang semua!!

<3>

Lost

err im seriously LOST.
sgt x fhm situation nye Rian.omg sgt lah lost.i need moment 2 read it baack again byk2 kali.

~kejab~

Olalla T Sanz.

Rian Kassidy: Note 2

Apparently Black doesn't mind us.

I mean...
Not anymore?
'Coz he said;

"Josh deserves better.
No offense."

and I agree with him.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s:
I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
- Plain White T's, A Lonely September.

Rian Kassidy: Letter 5

Dear darlings,

Josh and I are taking a break right now.

And as I'm writing this...we're actually IMing on FB.
He just asked me whether we'd be able to work on us once I'm less busy.

(and no. I've no fckin idea when the "less busy part" will ever be.)

And whether I'm seeing another guy.
And lotsa other stuff.

So yeah.
We're actually being honest and straightforward about this.

But somehow... it doesn't feel like when I'm with Ezra.
When words flow with ease.

Angau factor?
Maybe.
Dem.
Bahaya betul when Ezra is so much like Kyuri.
Falling flat on my face is not something I'd want to experience again.

Talked about Ezra and I btw with Black last night.
We went out with a couple of friends and he read my texts with Ezra and asked me wtf's going on.

So yeah, had a lengthy conversation.

He told me he doesn't like it.
That he's on Josh's side.
Bla3. Yada3.

And o yeah.
He also said that he doesn't like Ezra either.

One thing -

(or maybe there's more)

- that I realised after having these talks is that..
Josh is a nice guy.
A really, really, genuinely nice guy.
And that it'd be a big loss on my part if I let go of him.
And that I'm actually sad that this happened when I'm with a really, really good guy.

But at the same time...
I realised that I don't feel sad about losing the relationship.

Agh! Jam siall.

That should sorta answer ketamsenget's question?
Sorta.
Can't really think right now.

And to answer Olalla's question...
it was over a sorta stupid matter.
Saya terasa dengan sesuatu yang telah diperkatakannya.
So saya cam bengang...
patu dia plak bengang...
patu sama2 bengang.

Patu sama2 cakap sorry dan made up.

Patu kami sama2 jumpe for lunch.
Dan kami terpaksa senyum lebar mase nampak each other across the road.
Terasa lama betul traffic nak clear time tuh.
Dem.

Mase gado tu saya sesunggunya rasa macam nak teleport pegi jumpa dia.
Dan cakap sorry dengan profusenya.
Tapi obviously la tak mampu kan.

Rasa juga sedih.
Dan kelakar.

Ye kami kelakar.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s:
1. Rooooosaaaaaaaaa!! Sila pilih warna, sila.
2. Primadona Razorblade has met him.
3. Melaka bila adalah tidak diketahui. Sibuk ><
4. Mau ke Ipoh juga!

:)

Dear sayangs,
im in! :)
sorry sygs, tak bleh nk catch up sgt with all the stories.
no time to read all.. so dont bother bout me ok. :)

i miss u guys so much.

<3,
Roosa. (Agak la, mcm rusa. Rusa mat salleh)

dear friends 2

letter to Rian Kassidy.

dear Rian,

looks like u've fallen hard for ezra eyh?
i couldnt be more happier for u.
but syg, there's something else that u should do!

answer me babe,
what r u goin to do about josh?
u cant leave him hanging like that.
it's not fair to him.
if he loves you like he claimed to be then he's got no problem of letting you go.
he would rather watch u happy with some1 else than u being miserable with him.
i noe it's easier said than done but eventually he'll get it when he found some1 else who loves him as much as he loves u ryte now.
so syg, i think it's time to let him go.
he cant be ur security blanket anymore.

but wateva it is, it's your decision not ours.
hey, like u said, we are here for u.
tempat mengadu, menangis, bergelak ketawa.
we may not agree with u but we'll support u through wateva.

and about you being afraid that Ezra making the u-turn, then hey congrats!
what u feel is normal.
that shows u are human.
but babe u have to take the chances. take the risks.
and talk bout it with him.
i mean REALLY talk.
wateva the outcome we'll still be here.
ready with our arms wide open.

dont worry k?
we can be ur matress (or matresses for that matter!) for u to fall on.
we love u!


sincerely,
ketamsenget

dear kwn baik 4

Dear Rian Kassidy,
what happen dear?fight?with Ezra?cerita cerita.

Dear Primadona Razorblade,
what happen?called u but no responds.we (me and ketamsenget ) end it up having lunch at OU and shopping kasut 4 ketamsenget.sila cerita juge what happen.

Dear ketamsenget,
thanks 4 d lunch.best best.jom buat lg tp korang yg lain mesti ade.

btw besties,ble trip 2 Melaka?

and btw lg,im staying at ipoh during d school holiday.mungkin lmbt tuk update blog (bukan nye ade cerita kot nk update kalau duk sane,since dh x chat ngan Choco kan).

rinduu korang sgt!

Love always, Olalla T Sanz

Rian Kassidy: Note 1

Had a fight with Ezra.
Over a sorta stupid matter.
It was painful...
but funny at the same time.
Cacaat ><"
All's well now though.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s: Love you guys loads.

Rian Kassidy: Letter 4

Dear sayangs;

1. For my Olalla T Sanz:

I'm not forcing you to do anything=) If you wanna tell Choco, then tell him. If not, then don't. But I admit: I'm a strong advocate for a confession.

But.

Like I said.. it's all in your hands ^^,

Mimpi sangat mengarut btw. Rian tunjuk jalan?! Could we be riding bicycles in the new place the family's living at? Could be, could be. Tapi serious chomel sumpa tak tipu.

Jup.

Macam best je o.0?

(ada gaya cam bole p men beskal je neh. Haha)

Sangat agree with ketamsenget btw about hurting every time Choco talks about the Girl.

Tell me you will forever be able to stand that.

Pape hal pun we're here yea?

Tempat mengadu. Menangis. Bergelak ketawa.

Sume pun bole.

=)

2. For everyone:

Saya takut.

Rasanya dah terjatuh terlampau dalam dengan Ezra.

And I don't know if there's a thick enough mattress (or mattresses for that matter) to break my fall if he decides to leave, and not stay. I don't even know if I've built a strong enough retaining wall to absorb the pressure if things turn out for the worst.

It's like I can foresee history (zaman kecewa dengan Kyuri back in 2006 ><") repeating itself if this doesn't happen. In my eyes, we're at a junction. Stopped by the red traffic light. And right now I'm afraid that when the light turns green... he'd decide to make a u-turn or turn into another junction. Just afraid that we're not gonna walk the same path. Shit. I'm in deep shit aren't I?

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s: sangat rindu semua.

dear kwn baik 3

hey besties,

i know u guys hav diff opinion.Rian n ketamsenget really want me to confess.n Primadona Razorblade not.well 4 d time being at least im not going 2 confess 2 him.hmm.yes ketamsenget its really hurt.well i was crying when he told me about he was on d way couple with other girl.i dont know i guess in my situation right now, not confess is d best solution.n ketamsenget, i know Choco,if I confess the awkward will not be 4 a moment, it will take long i guess.n i know that i will never know how he feels about me but fuhh i dont know this will be so complicated.well at least im d 1 who make it complicated (what Star told me years ago). hmm.i really appreciate ur view babes.it just i think its 4 d best right now.not confess, b there 4 him when he needs me, try 2 find some1 new, get busy and try 2 get over him (n yeah its gonna be hard n hurt in d same time).

currently listening to Terlalu Cinta by Rossa.damn.

syg korang sgt sgt sgt.

Love always, Olalla T Sanz

dear friends.

letter to ollala T sans,
dear ollala,

i personally agreed with Rian.

to have something u have to prepare to lose something else.

yes u'll get hurt even with or without u telling him dat u like him.

if u tell him dat u lyk him there's no harm done.
u aint got nothing to lose.
yes there will be an awkward moment between u n him. but just for a moment!

every1 deserves to know that they were lyk by others especially from their closest friends lyk him claimed to be urs. so be brave! prepare urself for wuteva outcome u may get.

keeping it in ur heart without telling him will only get worst.
wut if he keeps telling about his interest for another girl.
do u really think u can take it?

so do wat's right for u.
be selfish for once!
be brave.
good luck babe.

~ ketamsenget

Dear kwn baik 2

at this very right moment i try 2 be the best friend to Choco.dia tgh sedih kate nye n hey im always here kan.

ok back to u guys.buat Rian Kassidy, sorry sbb menyalahtafsirkan ape yg kamu ckp.well yeah i guess its too late since u had fall 4 him kan.but dont worry lah yee syg.

n Rian Kassidy, i dont want 2 confess 2 Choco at least right now coz im too scared.seriously.n about d economics nye theory tu mesti lah blaja!kate ambik buss mesti ade economy most of d subjects.hmm.yeah Choco n Star mmg different.hmm.ok lupakan Choco 4 a while.

primadona razorblade!!! finally kamu blk.rinduu!well bout ur case,kamu x blh long distance relationship n kamu nak he's always in front of u kan kanlike always?tlh lah saya tafsir dgn betul kali ini.hehehe.n Rian is right bout u should let him know whatever ur decision is.

sgt tak sabar nak jumpa kalian semua.sgt rinduuu! owhh.btw hr tu ade mimpi kite semua gather mcm biase.d funny part is kitaorg naik basikal utk pegi tmpt tu.sgt lawak.n Rian was d 1 yg tnjk jalan,pusing kanan n kiri n bla bla bla.n walaupun naik beskal kena byr tiket perking.sgt bodo mimpi ni.as d conclusion sgt rinduu wahai kwn2 baik ku.=)

Love always, Olalla T Sanz

Rian Kassidy: Letter 3

Welcome back o' Primadona Razorblade.

Seeing you guys do the whole signing own name at the end of the post tanpa menyusahkan diri dengan meng-add-kan diri as one of the contributors menyebabkan saya terfikir: kenapa saya tak berbuat begitu?

Terlampau memikirkan tentang bahagian "POSTED BY [insert name]" nampaknya.

Terasa begitu bodoh.

Ciss.

(Should I delete the profile and just do what you guys are doing? But I'm having so much fun with Rian Kassidy!! Have you read Rian's profile? Huhu.)

So anyways... you like him 'coz he's there huhh? And the feelings just wither away when he's not there? Like it never existed?

Fuhh.

Prospective boyfriends mesti berpeluh baca ni. "Bahaya betul Cik Primadona ni," kata mereka, saya pasti.

I guess the whole 'absence makes the heart grows fonder' shit doesn't apply to you.

Mesti terasa geli kalau he sends an "I miss you/Saya rindu awak" text.

Betul tak?

Haha.

A a a well... do what you think is right, feel whatever you wanna feel.

But make sure you tell him if you decide to flush him out of the system.

Don't leave him hanging yea?

We'll be here to say whatever we wanna say but you very well know that in the end all four of us will stand firm behind you =)

P/s: Shopping? Fulus nya ngak ada.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

2

just in case,if u guys miss me.
IM BACK!
:)

and i think i want to flush my feelings towards him la. malas gila.korang tau the feeling macam malas and liat bangun pagi everyday nk pegi kelas? macam tu la kita rasa. i think the 'like' feeling is farting fake. macam i just said to him because he was there. whn im back here at home, not seeing him, the 'like' feelings is lost..gone with the wind.

and saya nak shopping. anyone?

love korang.

a FARTING fake.yes.

primadona razorblade

Rian Kassidy: Letter 2

My darling Olalla T Sanz,

I beg to differ on your viewpoint being I fell for Ezra because he reminds me of Kyuri. Yes, of course I did say he does remind me of Kyuri but I was talking about the feelings. Simply put... he makes me feel invincible. Throw anything at me and I will come out of the debris unscathed.

Sangat hiperbole, I know. But yeah...

Aaah... You cautioned me on Ezra huhh? Totally slipped my mind ><" should have put neon post-its reminding me to thread carefully around him ("DON'T FALL FOR EZRA!!" perhaps?) all over the house everywhere shouldn't I?

*sigh* too little too late now aye? Damage done.

And about Josh... it's not that I don't love him. I do. But I'm not in love with him. Not anymore. That's why it's hard for me to explain stuff. 'Coz I know it's gonna hurt him and I don't want my best friend to be hurt.

Then there's that fact that I'm afraid I'd be making a huge mistake.

Ntah la.

Anyways... enough about me sayang. What's this about you hmm?

The text sangat sweet btw. Sugary, strawberry-candyfloss-sweet. Sangat warna pink ><

Right. Getting to the point: Whether you wanna come clean about how you feel towards Choco.. that should entirely be decided by you.

If you do... then it's just a matter of time. You'll tell him when you think it's right. If it results in a happy ending, then great!! Superb in fact. But if it doesn't... you guys will still be best friends. It hurts, of course. Then there's the whole awkward phase. But if you guys are mature enough and he really does appreciate you as much as the text message indicated... then yeah, you'd still be best friends ^^,

Bad experiences should be welcomed anyways. Yea, they suck. Big time. Especially during the torturous period. But hey... they help you grow.

Remember that always.

On the other hand, if you decide on not coming clean i.e. you'd rather bottle it all up inside and never know how he feels, and never get the chance to talk about this from man-to-woman, then hey... it's your call. But it'd still hurt.

I can bet on that.

Just watching.. listening.. talking..

hurts.

It's a matter of which kind of hurt you'd prefer enduring. As have been said by another blogger, and I paraphrase: kalau ikut Economics... opportunity costs punya theory lah. Ada blaja? Basically, and I simplify, the theory states that choosing one means you're losing another; and as logical human beings... we usually choose an option that would incur less losses. So yeah, opt for the option that would cause less damage to your heart.

And sayang, don't put Star and Choco in the same league. They're two different people, with different experiences, viewpoints, feelings and the list could go on.

No two humans are alike.

It's time to choose now. What's the verdict?

Love,
Rian Kassidy

Dear kwn baik

Dear Rian Kassidy,

well i've been in this situation b4 with B and Star.hmm.i think u like Ezra b'coz he reminds u of Kyuri.I dont think u over him yet n it may take years 2 get over him n i know its hard but u will 1 day.hey, look at me it tooks me 2 years 2 get over Star.no kidding.alhamdulilah i'm so over him.btw Rian,i'm really sorry about all that stupid fight.dush how childish i am.Btw again, i do remember during the sleepover I told u 2 b careful with the situation between u n Ezra.no hard feelings but I told u so!cheh poyo pulak. In the other hand, u treat Josh not more than just best frens but somehow its hard 4 u 2 tell him that u doesnt love him.i mean its not fair but hey who r we 2 judge that.no matter what ur decision is, we'll gonna support u.

Dear kwn baik ,

yesterday 4 d 1st time (not really) I slept early so that i can wake up early in d morning 2 join jog with my mom .then terjaga around 5 am there's msg frm CHOCO.what?so here d msg :-

If u luv sm1,put their name in a circle,instead of a heart,heart cn break,bt circles go on frevr..No man or women worth ur tears,d only 1 who is,will nvr make u cry..Evry1 hears what u say,bt best frens lsten 2 what u don't..If all my frens were 2 jump off abridge, i wouldn't jump wit them,i'd be at d bottom to catch them..~Hand In Hand,Love Is Sent,We'll Be Friends,Till The End~

Hmm,at d positive side i can be his friends till d end n wow i'm his best frens,something i didnt expecting.hmm,u know what,i tried really hard 2 get over him,avoiding online often,avoiding ym-ing with him although there he is on9 but it just 2 hard.i dont want 2 take like 2 years 2 get over him.haiyo.i know i should just confess 2 him.'hey choco,i like u'.but then i dont want to turn out like me n STAR.i confess n it doesnt work out d way i want n then im gonna be heart broken n then i cant concentrate with my studies.fuhh.well as d conclusion, i dont know how 2 describe it but i really care n like him (im not sure is it love when ur not even seeing each other face to face for like 2 years).right now i just hope he is happy b'coz thats what best friends should do 2 each other right? hoping 4 each other happiness.

Love always, Olalla T Sanz

Rian Kassidy: Letter 1

My darlings,

Have finally told you guys of the update the last time we met.
The thing about me and Ezra.
I know it's wrong...
I mean... we've both got other partners!!
But...agh!!
We just can't help it!!

(Can we o.0?)

And now...it has gone full blown.
The feelings I mean.
It's like we've known each other for ages...
The chemistry between us...
Crazy I tell you.

Then again...
Maybe you guys have heard all these before.
Maybe this is a justification for my feelings...
for my apparent frowned-upon-by-the-society doings.

But maybe it's not.

Just listen out yea?

The thing is...
Ezra sorta makes me feel the way I felt when I was with Kyuri.
The whole I'm-Invincible-Come-Get-Me shit - just a tad different.
'Coz with him I sorta sense the maturity...
the possibility of us ending up more than a couple.

Yeah, yeah... we talked about marriage.
Laugh all you want now.

And...
I'm finding myself treating Josh more and more like a best friend.
It kills me every time he reaches for my hand.

I'm toying with the notion of telling him about my changed feelings.
Have been toying actually for the past month at least.
But at the same time I'm not able to grasp the possibility of making a HUGE mistake.

(humongous, even, perhaps?)

Honestly... what do you guys think about it?
And I do mean honestly.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

1

hello.
this is for us.
for all of us.
:)