14

Think, i think this is bad.
How can you wake up with someone you dont love?

Would you take the risk?
I dont know. I will never know.

Primadonna Razorblade

Loneliness

Assalamualaikum...

Ladies, how i miss you guys so much.

These past few months are really hard for me.

I tried to be strong, i tried to stand tall even life keeps bringing me down. 

And in the midst of all this, i found this one article from Yasmin Mogahed that really made me think. Every hardship, every challenge, every pain, you are never alone. Allah is always there with us.

When they slept, He was awake. When they broke, He held you up. When every means failed, He saved you. When all the creation left you, He remained. He always remains. Never forget when the storms pushed you to your knees and there was no one else who could help you, He carried you. When you were broken and you swore this time it couldn’t be fixed—never forget who fixed it. Never forget what He saved you from. Never forget how He put you back together. That moment when you felt helpless and alone, never forget who never left. To forget this is the greatest heedlessness. No matter who or what may be beside you now, never forget those moments when it was only Him. Only Him. That is loyalty.

Indeed, we are never lonely. Just when you think that the world we live in isnt fair, just when you think no one is there for you, remember there's always Allah. Allah never left us and with this in mind, it really make me strong. 

BTW, korang jom pegi bercuti. huhu


<3 ketamsenget="ketamsenget" span="span">

2012 : Letter 4 (Let's go holiday)

Dear besties,

LET'S GO HOOOLIIIDAAAY!

Since everyone stress with work, study, relationship and all, let's go holiday.
Rian Kassidy suggested we go Singapore. 2nd trip with you girls. *Excited*

The suggestion :

1) Where to go? : USS / Legoland / Hello Kitty Town =D

2) Where to stay? : Primadonna's apartment or we could find cheap hotel there.

3) How to go? : Flight. Can start to buy now. Or bus/train/car.

4) When? : November maybe?

FYI, USS tix ade 10/15% discount for MBB Credit Card. So cheaper!!

Let me know what do you guys think.

With love,
 Olalla T Sanz 

13

like can we just have 5 instead of 9,
do you have to drag your boyfriends everywhere ???????? 

SEMAK
WORK SEMAK
THE EX SEMAK
RELATIONSHIP CLOSURE SEMAK
STRESS LEVEL 100000


Baca Quran pun selalu menangis
i hate myself now


Too many bullshit happenned and happening
you guys remain silent

text yang reply only Olalla

Fine, im fine, u girls are busy

i shall remain silent

Primadonna Razorblade

2012 : Letter 3

MISS YOU GIRLS A LOT..

Primadonna Razorblade,
The right person to comment on this is Rian Kassidy. With all the law term, x faham. Sorry dear. But i believe if you hate your job,  u SHOULD quit.

For me, now I want to start looking for new job. The thing is I can't see any progression with my current job. Tak ada opportunity utk convert to permanent and naik pangkat in the same department. This what happen when ur in a department that based on sales. I miss dealing with numbers. I miss accounting. I miss finance. But i have leave them for so long... (agak dramatic skit, maaf).

Ohoi, bila nak jumpa (mcm Jake and the Neverland Pirate ckp, ok korang mungkin x fhm, mungkin Roosa Rooness akan fhm).

Ketamsenget,
where are you? Hope you doing fine.

Oh rindu nya.

With love,
Olalla T Sanz 

12

Let me tell you one thing.

I have one big regret. I shouldn’t accept the offer. I knew what I love, my passion and interest but why did I accept the offer? Why did I retain myself in the firm? Why????

Salah satu regret paling besar dalam hidup kita, sebenarnya.

Pasal kita remain sini la kita lagi serabut sekarang ni.

Ok, let be just get it straight. I hate my job. Like really hate. I wake up every morning thinking of excuse of not coming to work. I look at the clock every time, hoping that the clock will struck 5.30pm so that I can pack my bag and leave the office.

I even hate to have lunch here.

I look forward to weekends, more than any other normal person. Like today is Wednesday, I already am excited for weekends, SERIOUSLY.

So I talked to my mum today. Actually I talked to them parents since a month ago rasanya, before puasa and all that. Dad said “give it a try”. Mak said “do what you love, (somewhere in between la, actually).

So yeah, talked to my mum and she sounded a bit concerned. I talked while ironing my tudung to work, and I realized that I forced myself not to cry. I don’t know why, but yeah, rasa macam nak menangis. My mum said “gaji macam mana?”.

Waaa, I really need you girls badly. I seriously do. I mean, I know I hate my job but I want to make my parents happy. I hate my job to the point that I feel like tendering; a 24hours notice all the time and pay RM7,000 to the firm. Yeah, that bad.

But the thing is, I love money. The only thing I splurge is food. I haven’t go out shopping for shirt, I’ve been wearing Baju Kurung all the way since July, seluar jarang gila dah pakai, malas, tak ada mood.

How can I get good salary nowadays?

Or is it passion will drive you to your journey?

Its obvious. Kalau tak ada mood, I will not dress up. I look like a dork. Seriously like a dork. I lost a lot of weight. I think I am in a depressed stage.

I want to get away from my current job. The thing is, I have lack of confidence. I did litigation all the way throughout my chambering but in my last 1 month plus, I did corporate. I didn’t do convey, at all. AT ALL. So when they offered me to be under my current boss, I was told that “she’s more on documentation.” Documentation my arse, just say la its convey.

Freaking convey.  I hate convey all my life. I cant live in the office all the time, my brain doesn’t work that way. I hate it. I really hate it all my heart.

So sekarang I am a 4 months full fledge lawyer with convey and corporate experience. I want to move out, tapi ada ke orang yang nak?

I love the thrill, I love the reading, I love analyzing the facts and I love reading.

So why am I here?

And reading “Quarter Life Crisis” is not helping me at all. Nothing at all.

GAH I HATE MY JOB.

Primadonna Razorblade

11

I hope Rian is OK.

Primadonna Razorblade