Rian Kassidy: Note 1

Had a fight with Ezra.
Over a sorta stupid matter.
It was painful...
but funny at the same time.
Cacaat ><"
All's well now though.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s: Love you guys loads.

Rian Kassidy: Letter 4

Dear sayangs;

1. For my Olalla T Sanz:

I'm not forcing you to do anything=) If you wanna tell Choco, then tell him. If not, then don't. But I admit: I'm a strong advocate for a confession.

But.

Like I said.. it's all in your hands ^^,

Mimpi sangat mengarut btw. Rian tunjuk jalan?! Could we be riding bicycles in the new place the family's living at? Could be, could be. Tapi serious chomel sumpa tak tipu.

Jup.

Macam best je o.0?

(ada gaya cam bole p men beskal je neh. Haha)

Sangat agree with ketamsenget btw about hurting every time Choco talks about the Girl.

Tell me you will forever be able to stand that.

Pape hal pun we're here yea?

Tempat mengadu. Menangis. Bergelak ketawa.

Sume pun bole.

=)

2. For everyone:

Saya takut.

Rasanya dah terjatuh terlampau dalam dengan Ezra.

And I don't know if there's a thick enough mattress (or mattresses for that matter) to break my fall if he decides to leave, and not stay. I don't even know if I've built a strong enough retaining wall to absorb the pressure if things turn out for the worst.

It's like I can foresee history (zaman kecewa dengan Kyuri back in 2006 ><") repeating itself if this doesn't happen. In my eyes, we're at a junction. Stopped by the red traffic light. And right now I'm afraid that when the light turns green... he'd decide to make a u-turn or turn into another junction. Just afraid that we're not gonna walk the same path. Shit. I'm in deep shit aren't I?

Love,
Rian Kassidy

P/s: sangat rindu semua.

dear kwn baik 3

hey besties,

i know u guys hav diff opinion.Rian n ketamsenget really want me to confess.n Primadona Razorblade not.well 4 d time being at least im not going 2 confess 2 him.hmm.yes ketamsenget its really hurt.well i was crying when he told me about he was on d way couple with other girl.i dont know i guess in my situation right now, not confess is d best solution.n ketamsenget, i know Choco,if I confess the awkward will not be 4 a moment, it will take long i guess.n i know that i will never know how he feels about me but fuhh i dont know this will be so complicated.well at least im d 1 who make it complicated (what Star told me years ago). hmm.i really appreciate ur view babes.it just i think its 4 d best right now.not confess, b there 4 him when he needs me, try 2 find some1 new, get busy and try 2 get over him (n yeah its gonna be hard n hurt in d same time).

currently listening to Terlalu Cinta by Rossa.damn.

syg korang sgt sgt sgt.

Love always, Olalla T Sanz

dear friends.

letter to ollala T sans,
dear ollala,

i personally agreed with Rian.

to have something u have to prepare to lose something else.

yes u'll get hurt even with or without u telling him dat u like him.

if u tell him dat u lyk him there's no harm done.
u aint got nothing to lose.
yes there will be an awkward moment between u n him. but just for a moment!

every1 deserves to know that they were lyk by others especially from their closest friends lyk him claimed to be urs. so be brave! prepare urself for wuteva outcome u may get.

keeping it in ur heart without telling him will only get worst.
wut if he keeps telling about his interest for another girl.
do u really think u can take it?

so do wat's right for u.
be selfish for once!
be brave.
good luck babe.

~ ketamsenget

Dear kwn baik 2

at this very right moment i try 2 be the best friend to Choco.dia tgh sedih kate nye n hey im always here kan.

ok back to u guys.buat Rian Kassidy, sorry sbb menyalahtafsirkan ape yg kamu ckp.well yeah i guess its too late since u had fall 4 him kan.but dont worry lah yee syg.

n Rian Kassidy, i dont want 2 confess 2 Choco at least right now coz im too scared.seriously.n about d economics nye theory tu mesti lah blaja!kate ambik buss mesti ade economy most of d subjects.hmm.yeah Choco n Star mmg different.hmm.ok lupakan Choco 4 a while.

primadona razorblade!!! finally kamu blk.rinduu!well bout ur case,kamu x blh long distance relationship n kamu nak he's always in front of u kan kanlike always?tlh lah saya tafsir dgn betul kali ini.hehehe.n Rian is right bout u should let him know whatever ur decision is.

sgt tak sabar nak jumpa kalian semua.sgt rinduuu! owhh.btw hr tu ade mimpi kite semua gather mcm biase.d funny part is kitaorg naik basikal utk pegi tmpt tu.sgt lawak.n Rian was d 1 yg tnjk jalan,pusing kanan n kiri n bla bla bla.n walaupun naik beskal kena byr tiket perking.sgt bodo mimpi ni.as d conclusion sgt rinduu wahai kwn2 baik ku.=)

Love always, Olalla T Sanz

Rian Kassidy: Letter 3

Welcome back o' Primadona Razorblade.

Seeing you guys do the whole signing own name at the end of the post tanpa menyusahkan diri dengan meng-add-kan diri as one of the contributors menyebabkan saya terfikir: kenapa saya tak berbuat begitu?

Terlampau memikirkan tentang bahagian "POSTED BY [insert name]" nampaknya.

Terasa begitu bodoh.

Ciss.

(Should I delete the profile and just do what you guys are doing? But I'm having so much fun with Rian Kassidy!! Have you read Rian's profile? Huhu.)

So anyways... you like him 'coz he's there huhh? And the feelings just wither away when he's not there? Like it never existed?

Fuhh.

Prospective boyfriends mesti berpeluh baca ni. "Bahaya betul Cik Primadona ni," kata mereka, saya pasti.

I guess the whole 'absence makes the heart grows fonder' shit doesn't apply to you.

Mesti terasa geli kalau he sends an "I miss you/Saya rindu awak" text.

Betul tak?

Haha.

A a a well... do what you think is right, feel whatever you wanna feel.

But make sure you tell him if you decide to flush him out of the system.

Don't leave him hanging yea?

We'll be here to say whatever we wanna say but you very well know that in the end all four of us will stand firm behind you =)

P/s: Shopping? Fulus nya ngak ada.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

2

just in case,if u guys miss me.
IM BACK!
:)

and i think i want to flush my feelings towards him la. malas gila.korang tau the feeling macam malas and liat bangun pagi everyday nk pegi kelas? macam tu la kita rasa. i think the 'like' feeling is farting fake. macam i just said to him because he was there. whn im back here at home, not seeing him, the 'like' feelings is lost..gone with the wind.

and saya nak shopping. anyone?

love korang.

a FARTING fake.yes.

primadona razorblade

Rian Kassidy: Letter 2

My darling Olalla T Sanz,

I beg to differ on your viewpoint being I fell for Ezra because he reminds me of Kyuri. Yes, of course I did say he does remind me of Kyuri but I was talking about the feelings. Simply put... he makes me feel invincible. Throw anything at me and I will come out of the debris unscathed.

Sangat hiperbole, I know. But yeah...

Aaah... You cautioned me on Ezra huhh? Totally slipped my mind ><" should have put neon post-its reminding me to thread carefully around him ("DON'T FALL FOR EZRA!!" perhaps?) all over the house everywhere shouldn't I?

*sigh* too little too late now aye? Damage done.

And about Josh... it's not that I don't love him. I do. But I'm not in love with him. Not anymore. That's why it's hard for me to explain stuff. 'Coz I know it's gonna hurt him and I don't want my best friend to be hurt.

Then there's that fact that I'm afraid I'd be making a huge mistake.

Ntah la.

Anyways... enough about me sayang. What's this about you hmm?

The text sangat sweet btw. Sugary, strawberry-candyfloss-sweet. Sangat warna pink ><

Right. Getting to the point: Whether you wanna come clean about how you feel towards Choco.. that should entirely be decided by you.

If you do... then it's just a matter of time. You'll tell him when you think it's right. If it results in a happy ending, then great!! Superb in fact. But if it doesn't... you guys will still be best friends. It hurts, of course. Then there's the whole awkward phase. But if you guys are mature enough and he really does appreciate you as much as the text message indicated... then yeah, you'd still be best friends ^^,

Bad experiences should be welcomed anyways. Yea, they suck. Big time. Especially during the torturous period. But hey... they help you grow.

Remember that always.

On the other hand, if you decide on not coming clean i.e. you'd rather bottle it all up inside and never know how he feels, and never get the chance to talk about this from man-to-woman, then hey... it's your call. But it'd still hurt.

I can bet on that.

Just watching.. listening.. talking..

hurts.

It's a matter of which kind of hurt you'd prefer enduring. As have been said by another blogger, and I paraphrase: kalau ikut Economics... opportunity costs punya theory lah. Ada blaja? Basically, and I simplify, the theory states that choosing one means you're losing another; and as logical human beings... we usually choose an option that would incur less losses. So yeah, opt for the option that would cause less damage to your heart.

And sayang, don't put Star and Choco in the same league. They're two different people, with different experiences, viewpoints, feelings and the list could go on.

No two humans are alike.

It's time to choose now. What's the verdict?

Love,
Rian Kassidy

Dear kwn baik

Dear Rian Kassidy,

well i've been in this situation b4 with B and Star.hmm.i think u like Ezra b'coz he reminds u of Kyuri.I dont think u over him yet n it may take years 2 get over him n i know its hard but u will 1 day.hey, look at me it tooks me 2 years 2 get over Star.no kidding.alhamdulilah i'm so over him.btw Rian,i'm really sorry about all that stupid fight.dush how childish i am.Btw again, i do remember during the sleepover I told u 2 b careful with the situation between u n Ezra.no hard feelings but I told u so!cheh poyo pulak. In the other hand, u treat Josh not more than just best frens but somehow its hard 4 u 2 tell him that u doesnt love him.i mean its not fair but hey who r we 2 judge that.no matter what ur decision is, we'll gonna support u.

Dear kwn baik ,

yesterday 4 d 1st time (not really) I slept early so that i can wake up early in d morning 2 join jog with my mom .then terjaga around 5 am there's msg frm CHOCO.what?so here d msg :-

If u luv sm1,put their name in a circle,instead of a heart,heart cn break,bt circles go on frevr..No man or women worth ur tears,d only 1 who is,will nvr make u cry..Evry1 hears what u say,bt best frens lsten 2 what u don't..If all my frens were 2 jump off abridge, i wouldn't jump wit them,i'd be at d bottom to catch them..~Hand In Hand,Love Is Sent,We'll Be Friends,Till The End~

Hmm,at d positive side i can be his friends till d end n wow i'm his best frens,something i didnt expecting.hmm,u know what,i tried really hard 2 get over him,avoiding online often,avoiding ym-ing with him although there he is on9 but it just 2 hard.i dont want 2 take like 2 years 2 get over him.haiyo.i know i should just confess 2 him.'hey choco,i like u'.but then i dont want to turn out like me n STAR.i confess n it doesnt work out d way i want n then im gonna be heart broken n then i cant concentrate with my studies.fuhh.well as d conclusion, i dont know how 2 describe it but i really care n like him (im not sure is it love when ur not even seeing each other face to face for like 2 years).right now i just hope he is happy b'coz thats what best friends should do 2 each other right? hoping 4 each other happiness.

Love always, Olalla T Sanz

Rian Kassidy: Letter 1

My darlings,

Have finally told you guys of the update the last time we met.
The thing about me and Ezra.
I know it's wrong...
I mean... we've both got other partners!!
But...agh!!
We just can't help it!!

(Can we o.0?)

And now...it has gone full blown.
The feelings I mean.
It's like we've known each other for ages...
The chemistry between us...
Crazy I tell you.

Then again...
Maybe you guys have heard all these before.
Maybe this is a justification for my feelings...
for my apparent frowned-upon-by-the-society doings.

But maybe it's not.

Just listen out yea?

The thing is...
Ezra sorta makes me feel the way I felt when I was with Kyuri.
The whole I'm-Invincible-Come-Get-Me shit - just a tad different.
'Coz with him I sorta sense the maturity...
the possibility of us ending up more than a couple.

Yeah, yeah... we talked about marriage.
Laugh all you want now.

And...
I'm finding myself treating Josh more and more like a best friend.
It kills me every time he reaches for my hand.

I'm toying with the notion of telling him about my changed feelings.
Have been toying actually for the past month at least.
But at the same time I'm not able to grasp the possibility of making a HUGE mistake.

(humongous, even, perhaps?)

Honestly... what do you guys think about it?
And I do mean honestly.

Love,
Rian Kassidy

1

hello.
this is for us.
for all of us.
:)